Fade
by Remember the Dead
Summary: Four years have passed since the Digimon had to leave, and the Tamers are left with severe psychological effects. One shot, but will continue upon request. My second attempt. Some more OOC. WAFF. But sweet and short. R n R!


HI, it's me, "Remember the Dead" back with a second story. And yes, it's Henrika/Jenruki yet again! anyway…this one will hopefully be better than the last one…if I have to make it multiple chapters, I will. U.U so yeah…

Oh, and I do first person better, so I think most of my stories will be in the first person! 

"Sitting on a filthy floor

Somewhere in a subway station

Can't handle your life no more

Sick of talk and confrontation

…

Now you're caught in a world

That's exactly how you want it to

But then you're hurled

Back to the life from which you flew"

first and last verse of Beyond Your Borrowed Dreams by L'ame Immortelle

_Fade_

**Henry's POV**

Hi, yeah. Hello. So. It's been four years since we had to say goodbye to our Digimon after defeating D-Reaper. Four years is a long time to go without seeing your best friend who's saved your life more times than you can count. And God knows I miss Terriermon all the time. The other's all think I've handled it the best.

After all the Digimon left, Takato became obsessed with finding a way back to the Digital World. He did find one, only about a year after Guilmon left. But, like all things, it fell through. Takato barely made it into that eerie blue data world before he was dropped back to Earth.

Jeri had already lost her partner, so though it hurt her to see all our Digimon friends leave, she'd finished suffering through the pain. Sure, she tried to help us all, but it was hard on her, and it was hard on us. At least our partners were still alive.

Kazu and Kenta, both being so alike, had different reactions. Kenta went into a permanent state of denial. He threw out all his cards, his D-Ark, everything affiliated with Digimon. He swore to himself that Digimon never existed, and it was all in his imagination. The media helped with that idea; they blasted us daily with reports that Digimon had indeed NOT fought a giant, creepy red goose monster.

Kazu, however, played Digimon whenever he could. He still does. I think he's hoping that if he plays enough, and gets good enough, he'll get to see guardromon.

My sister, Suzie, just cried. I think she still cries, but she's 10 now, and fitting in is very important to her. So she just never talks about Lopmon or Terriermon. If somebody brings up the subject of Digimon, she claims to have once had plushies of the cutest two Digimon in existence, but lost them. It works for her, I guess.

Ryo had spent more one-on-one time with his Digimon than any of us had, and it hit him pretty hard to say goodbye. But in a way, I think he was glad to lose the responsibility. He went back to being the Digimon King very fast. He accumulated fan girls left and right, and the condition has only worsened with age. I can honestly say, I'm not jealous that he's the most popular kid in Shinjuku Koukou. But, sometimes I am. Because of her. "Wildcat" as he says.

I can't say how she dealt with it inside, but Rika cried more than any of us believed was possible. We thought she would hang out with us more, for moral support. But she became more withdrawn than ever. She visits with us, she's one of our group, but she never speaks to any of us. It's like she thinks she's the only one with a problem.

Not long after we defeated the D-Reaper, Ryo and Rika began to see each other. They weren't like the moronic couples who bring each other lunch and giggle like fools. It was a distant relationship, but with a great deal of affection. I think that's the only kind of relationship Rika's capable of. But they split about two years ago. They're still friends, though. She talks to him when they're alone.

Oh, are you wondering about me? Well, my dad assured me everything would be ok. Impossible. I haven't spoken to him since I lost my best friend- we ALL lost our best friends- because he and his friends could not find a better way.

Silent treatment aside, I did the only thing I could: I just went on with life, as much the same as possible. I got up way too early in the morning, combed my hair, got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, ran to school, got good grades, had fun, ate lunch with my friends, finished school, went to karate, came home, relaxed a bit, did homework, ate dinner, played on the computer, washed up, and went to bed. That schedule has not changed much, and it is not boring; in fact, I rather enjoy it. But then there are those times, every waking second of my life, where I want to die.

I won't die; there's the slight chance I'll meet Terriermon again. But as I get older, that chance diminishes more and more. I haven't learned that life always lets you down; I am very blessed to have had a friend like Terriermon. But we're all falling apart. I just can't let anyone see it, so I have never told anyone that sometimes I pray to God for a car to hit me, to be poisoned, anything.

I'll be ok, I promise. Maybe I should get some help. That's not happening.

**Rika's POV**

I sit in my seat, face in my hands. They should not start school so early. Some of us spend all night just staring at the ceiling.

Maybe tonight I'll do some homework instead of nothing. I could do with passing grades. It's not like I'm stupid. Not as smart as Henry (let's face it: he's a scholarly genius) but still smart.

I guess that's how all things in life are. I'm good, but not good enough. I'll never be the best, I realize that. Took me long enough, don't you think? I can remember how four years ago, I literally KILLED to become the best.

Usually, I wish I could forget. If I forgot, then perhaps I could sleep. If I forgot, then perhaps someone would love me. There was Ryo, but we stopped working out when he decided that his life would be better without me tagging along in his shadow, tying him to a serious relationship. He's not a serious guy.

It's for the best. I loved Ryo, but could not show it well enough to keep him happy. How can I help it if I love like a ghost? The love is there, very close, but subtle, and you have to look for it very intently to find it. Is it wrong for me to be this way? I'd change if I could.

The teacher comes in. Nagoi-sensei. Meanest homeroom teacher in the whole freaking school, the upperclassmen said. I'm just a freshman this year, and the rumors scared me. However, I think Nagoi-sensei is nice. He's strict, and yells a lot, but I can tell he really cares for his students. His voice sounds just like mine did when I'd yell at Renamon.

"DING" says the bell. "Rise!" Nagoi commands. We rise.

"Bow!" and we all bow, murmuring "Good Morning" in our most respectful voices.

"Sit," he smiles, and we all ease like a well ordered army into our seats.

Nagoi-sensei runs through the attendance. I listen for my friend's voice. Only Henry and I are in 10-B. The rest are in 10-C. They're smart, too, but we did better on our placement tests. Although, I think I did exceptionally well, while Henry could have done much better.

Henry's name is the last to be called. As usual, he sounds eager to begin learning and bored with the same old thing. I know he thinks I don't care about my friends, but I do. I worry about him more than any of the others because he does not speak to his father. I do not speak to mine, but I never see him. I cannot imagine seeing someone who took care of you when you threw up on them, or still loved you when you tried to hate them, or took all your pain as their own, seeing them everyday and not feeling one way or the other towards them enough that you have nothing to say to them.

You might say that I treated my mother and friends in much the same way, and you'd be right, but there is a difference. You see, the affection is still there, but the words always come out wrong. So not speaking just made things better for everyone.

But I can't just keep the words bottled up inside. I have to let someone know how I'm feeling. Last time, I lost it. Only Ryo knows. I almost died. So he promised me, that no matter if we hate each other or not, I can tell him my feelings. Though I am not Ryo's biggest fan, I appreciate his kind heart. He has a busy, popular life, and yet he takes enough time out of it to listen to my petulant whining. I imagine I must be just a bother to him, but he never complains.

The bell rings and Nagoi-sensei shuffles out. We patiently wait for our next teacher to come in. I stare at Henry. There's a bruise on his neck. It's probably from karate, but I suspect otherwise. Why do I think these pessimistic thoughts?

Before our history teacher comes in, I scribble a note to Henry. I wonder what he will think? I have not said more to him than 200 words over the course of four years. I do not pass notes in class.

**Henry's POV**

I'm waiting expectantly for our teacher. He is usually late, but he's an excellent professor. He makes a boring subject enjoyable.

Suddenly, I feel a sharp prick in my shoulder. I turn around to see a sloppily folded note, and the girl holding it is blushing. Half-hoping for, half-dreading, I expect a stupid love letter.

The note says _Henry, are you ok? Rika_

I whip my head about before locating her seat. She never talks to me! Why now? Is she that bored?

With my even handwriting, I reply, _Sure, Rika. Of course._

I pass the note back, and a moment later it returns. _Are you sure? I'm worried about you._

Now that's ridiculous. She's worried? About me? I don't have any problems that she would know.

_I'm 100 positive. You don't have to worry about me. _I send her a smile for good measure.

Her response shocks me so badly that I am late for rising and bowing to our history teacher. He gives me a look, but that is it.

_Henry, you're not ok. You have a bruise on your neck, you do the same thing every day. And every time you smile, everytime you laugh, it seems so forced._

I listen as the teacher explains how Japan became open to trade, but my mind is not in it. What can I say to Rika? I believe her sincerity. She never speaks, and for her to volunteer to communicate with me…

"And so…Mr. Perry landed in the harbor. Who can tell me what our Japanese people did?" the teacher asks.

As I snap back into reality, or at least what I'm supposed to be doing, I see that no one can answer the teacher's question. "Henry?" he asks expectantly, but all I can do is sheepishly throw my hands up in confusion.

Shakily, Rika speaks up. "Um, didn't we…freak out? We'd never really seen something like that before, so we reacted…with great panic and…hostility?"

The teacher looks around. "Rika? Good job…I'm impressed. Did you do your homework?"

Well, I have to say it: I feel sorry for her. Her face is turning red with embarrassment. "No," she says to her feet.

She should do her homework if she wants to stay in high school. Perhaps…Back to the note.

**Rika's POV**

Ugh. What was I thinking? All talking does is get me in trouble. I try to answer a question, and end up humiliated for not doing my homework. Next time, I am keeping my mouth shut!

Why am I talking so much today, anyway? Senseless. Except, I suppose it must be that I can't go forever like this. I have to straighten up.

After I've reseated, the note comes back to me. _Can we talk about it after school?_

_Yes. Wait for me; I'll have to tell Ryo that I can't make it to his card game_, I write.

The note returns with only the word "Fine" written on it. I stuff it into the pocket of my skirt, and avert my attention to where it should be.

Nagoi-sensei returns at the end of the day to bid us farewell. We bow our final farewells, and I'm the first one out the door.

Ryo is already at his cubbyhole, changing shoes. Having run through stupid crowded halls, I'm slightly breathless. He notices me panting and leaning on one of the small doors. "Hi," he smiles.

"Hi. Sorry, Ryo, but I can't make it to your game."

He shrugs. "Ok, wildcat. Talk to you later."

But I'm already gone and I barely hear him. The mass of students all milling about, eager to head home, some unhappy about clean up duty, blocks my path. Shoving through them, I reach an impatient, uncomfortable Henry. He looks about ready to leave when I show up, but smiles when my eyes reach his.

In our usual silence we walk towards the school gate. 'It's like prison,' I think.

Henry smiles at me sideways. I mimic the expression, and he opens the gate. I step out, holding it open for him. He acts so normal. Keyword: act. Henry, what's wrong with you?

It only takes a few minutes that seem like hours to reach the most secluded bench in the park. We sit, and say nothing.

Henry's still smiling at me, but I cannot manage a smile back. Instead, I give him my most inquisitive look. Both of us hold our breath.

Finally, he speaks.

**Henry's POV**

"Sensei-my karate one- and I were practicing. That's the bruise on my neck."

"Ok. But why are you acting, Henry?"

It's funny. Her voice sounds almost foreign. It's soft, and pretty. She's pretty. Not 'punked up' like usual because it's against the dress code. I think she looks more like herself when her hair is in that spiky ponytail, and her hip stuck out to the side. The stance conveys her attitude, though she has softened up more and more over the years. Sometimes I think she's falling apart.

"I'm not acting."

She grabs me by my shoulders and shakes me gently, her lilac eyes bearing down into mine. "Usou! Stop lying. Henry…" She does not continue her thought.

The tears are inevitable as I speak my mind. "Rika…I can't…I want to die."

I can still see her through my blurred vision, and I can feel her tears on my neck. Who knows when she wrapped her skinny arms around me, but I fall into her, sobbing, shaking, relishing in the comfort she offers.

"You can't, Henry. You can't die. What can I do to make you okay?" She sobs.

"I don't know," I whisper.

She does not leave me. She holds me tightly, crying, and shaking the same. I am not ashamed to cry in front of her.

It only took a second for the world to tip and she was murmuring, with warm breath and soft lips, into my ear.

"Henry…I did too. I wanted to die. I kept everything inside of me. And then it got in my head and I…I tried to kill myself. I guess it's lucky that I lived, and now I'm going to help you."

I say nothing, just lean into her small figure. She continues, "Here's what Ryo told me: 'If anything is bothering you, whatever's on your mind, you have to tell me. Even if it's stupid, even if you don't even care about it, tell me. And even if you hate me, or I hate you, I'll listen. No matter the distance, you can tell me anything.' Ryo told me that, and I'm telling it to you. You can tell me anything, anytime, no matter what. Just don't let yourself hurt anymore, don't break your heart for looking strong."

I gape at with inanity in my eyes. "But what if I can't tell you? What if the words won't come? How can I trust you?"

Rika wipes the tears and inanity from my eyes. "God, Henry. Don't you know how much I love you?"

**Rika's POV**

WHAT made me say THAT?! What the hell am I thinking?

Henry blushes beneath his teary face. It tears me up to see him like this, because I can see me, too, and I can understand how much it hurts to admit you want to take your own life.

There are no people to see us crying like fools, no people to hear his confession, no people to hear our voices mixing like blood in snow. Finally, he puts the bridge of his nose under my chin, and our cheeks brush.

"I feel really stupid," he laughs.

"Don't," I smile back, digging around my pocket.

I produce a Kleenex and hand it to him. He wipes his face, but the back of his neck is bright red, and he is not looking at me.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Didn't I just tell you not to do that?"

"But you'll get mad."

Confused, I place my hand on heart. "I promise not to."

"Ok." Still he hesitates. "Um…You might want to sit normal again."

I look down to find myself cross-legged, half on his lap. Would he be embarrassed about that? A flash of blue beneath my grey uniform skirt. I flush and yank myself into a more ladylike position. "Uh. You didn't really see that."

He looks back at me more calm. "If you say so."

"So you'll talk to me?"

"If you will. Just do me a favor. Don't tell Ryo about this, please."

We laugh, and poke at our faces, blotchy from our tears.

**Henry's POV**

I guess that's the way things always are: we're nothing one minute…

**Rika's POV**

…crying the next…

**Henry's POV**

…and then laughing at the end.

**Rika's POV**

It's like we're on the couch, laughing together, like we have no problems.

**Henry's POV**

But then it's too narrow and we fall off, and we're crying again.

**Rika's POV**

But we know it'll be OK because we're together as we fade.

_Je fini! THE END!_

So! Did you like it? I hope so. It was shorter than Longest Road. But I hope you like it. There's still OOC-ness, which is becoming a major problem, but it's less here, don't you think? Ok, no it's not. But hey! They're depressed teenagers, and they've grown up. Some.

random voice Excuses, excuses.

Remember the Dead Shut up MASH is on!!!

random voice You don't even watch that show!

Remember the Dead well, I need a bath so :P

R n R!


End file.
